Broken brain

I’m coming to the end   I fill like I’m coming to the end. I’m sitting righting this as my carers are hard asleep. They might as well be asleep. I asked for a drink and they  didn’t get it.   This is getting to a point  and its emotionally draining. They think they can get away with this but this is the 3d time now so… I just want to get to demellza, then I will have both looking after me but I will no I can full onto demelza, at least they will hear my cries and respond. As I right this next line they have just jolted awake but layed back to sleep. Its no good jolting when sommone walks in. or going umm mmm imm in your sum what not sleep just to make me think you are awake. I no full well you have been asleep.   It sadnds me that this is what we have left… a broken plan/system. If I had stayed in ward 12 I cold of got better. Or if dr b had followed his plan then it would have worked out for me. Its not nice that I have been put in...

          On Thursday just gone I went to Roy it is a lovely place   A new girl has taken from name change s left and has handed it to o. It was so nice                               I felt little unconfutable ass the children didn’t like it for the fact of privacy. Its just so hard   Maybe taking them to a group for people to talk and have fun was not the right thing to do this soon on. It is just so sad that I am stuck with this. I don’t have a choice in anything right now. Its so harsh.   I love the group don’t get me wrong and they are the ones who have tot ne through some shit, but now they have needed to come I now don’t fill that this is my space to fill safe. How can we get   a balance. My hands are tied at this rate. H who I got along with is leaving next week her and s was so helpful during the time they worked f...

“its just a bad day not a bad life” song, bring me the horizon Life is one of the things when you cant cope with life. I want to fil listened and not like a burden. I think I need emdr but that’s another thing to talk to [nhs]   There many things that have effected me at times. Why can peopled do this to me. Over the years I have lost many friends. “you’ve lost more then most people do, you don’t know it now but there’s still more to luse2 song   But when lots of pl have messed me up its not nice. names have been changed f1. This broke after I supposedly asked her to have sex with me in year 4/5 this made me so upset as at this point I didn’t even no fully what this was. F2. L brook out up the friendship when he said “I can fill the Kansa in my vanes” but how can this be fer F3. This was messed up after they called me raced in one way or another this was a and b       The next brook out after b groomed me and told me to keep...

 hi everyone, this is my first blog. I  want to start with how we are failing with the system. I get it, the nhs is underfunded and they are in a tricky place with me… But the thing is, I have been feeling very low for the last 4 months and no one cares about me when it comes to the bad system I am not sure they truly get me when I flip out as they never see it.   How I get when I flip out is I get to a point when I scream so loud and get uncontrollable, it is not like me, I feel like I want to be violent towards everyone around me, but I want help, I do not want to be arrested.   The thoughts are so dark and they say just take promethazine but I don’t want to be silenced by some meds because there bank would benefit more from me suffering than me being happy.   Most recently I went to the hospital yesterday as I overdosed on vitamin d3. Why does no one care about my mental health I went to a &  e and they said it was not an over...